Yours Truly, Eliza B.

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  • Connection,  Creative

    Yours Truly: The Lost Art of Connection Through Letter Writing

    Can you believe it’s mid-April already!? This has been such a busy month so far for…

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Eliza B.
Happy First Day of Autumn (aka my favorite season Happy First Day of Autumn (aka my favorite season of the year!!)!! Tonight I improvised to make a fall-themed supper for us and ended up with a sweet potato carrot ginger curry soup that turned out pretty tasty! As we ate, we made a family bucket list full of so many fun ideas that we can’t wait to start checking some off! ✨ Paul added: go apple picking, go camping in the backyard, and have a spooky outdoor movie marathon ✨ Noah insisted on: decorating the house for Halloween with a spider on the roof, bobbing for apples (not sure how he even knows what that is 🤷‍♀️), make homemade pumpkin bread, and go trick-or-treating/carve pumpkins ✨ Niko’s contributions: roast marshmallows for s’mores, eat apples, play flashlight tag in the dark, and go visit Jack and baby Tate @katimallory ✨ My adds: make homemade pinecone bird feeders, read books together under piles of blankets cozied up by the fire, get our family photos taken by @kmjphoto 📷 and bake a yummy pie! 🍂🍁🥧🍎🏕🧡🎃🦃🪵🔥🐿🧦 What’s on YOUR bucket list this season?
A Monday evening handful of gratitude ✨ • I f A Monday evening handful of gratitude ✨ • I finished writing my first (ever) sonnet today for my poetry class with @calliefeyen - iambic pentameter and all ✍️ • Niko’s teacher approached me today to tell me how sweet and cuddly he was being today and how she’s totally “here for it” - it feels so good knowing my little bear is showing his tender heart at school and has such a kind and thoughtful teacher. • Noah telling me “the only thing I don’t like about school is that you aren’t there with me” ❤️ • family dinner full of terrible knock-knock jokes and lots of laughter • beautiful weather to play in my late night soccer game
I know this much is true. Between the world and me I know this much is true. Between the world and me, my heart is a compass, the keeper of wild words, the giver of stars.  This is how it always is. When the world is dreaming (of) all the places to love,  Here we are. The great believers. One family, together in a sudden strangeness, becoming strong in the broken places. // #fivelittlecreativesparks | day 2: #spinepoetry by Eliza B. (credit to my boys for some borrowed books!) @exhale.creativity
I was not feeling up to the chase today. My creati I was not feeling up to the chase today. My creativity has been elusive and depleted lately. It seems like for months now, I have been chasing my creative spark. Chasing, with the assumption (hope?) that if I can get even just a finger on it, my well will suddenly feel replenished, my rhythms will naturally fall back into place, and the process will start to feel less forced. I find myself exhausted and stretched thin on all levels. I spend my days racing to keep up with the pace of life and trying to “work smarter, not harder” to build structure and routines into our chaos. All the while holding myself to very high (and often unrealistic) expectations/standards. The problem with chasing (for me at least), is that it involves speed and strategy and skill. All things that are in high demand and low reserve these days. I don’t have the stamina or the endurance. The bandwidth or the patience to chase. I’m realizing that I need practice in slowing down, loosening the reigns, and leaning in to what feels right. This afternoon I stood in the kitchen watching my boys sitting at the table, stuffing banana bread into their mouths by the handfuls, stripped of their germy school clothes, and laughing together at their own private jokes. And I realized something. The light is already here. I don’t need to chase it. I just need to hold space for it to find me. // #fivelittlecreativesparks | day 1: chase the light @exhale.creativity
A reunion. When we arrive, she unfurls her long p A reunion. When we arrive, she unfurls her long pale arms to greet them. They barrel towards her, legs pumping, racing to revel in this reunion, squealing in delight as she covers them in briny kisses. She chases them playfully up and down the beach, dancing circles around their ankles, teasing their ticklish toes. Swallowing their laughter in giant gulps. They reach down from time to time, digging for delicate treasures in the deep expanse of her pockets. Returning to tuck the tiniest tokens into my outstretched fingers for safekeeping. —————— >>excerpt from some creative musings of mine this week for a poetry course I’m taking with @calliefeyen and @exhale.creativity - our first theme was figurative language (one I have always loved in poetry). If I’m being honest, my creativity has felt incredibly stifled these past many months and it felt good to focus some intentional energy and stretch my creative muscles a bit after what feels like waaaay too long. The last time I took poetry writing seriously was in the late 90’s when my favorite English professor taught an awesome course on it in college. @waynezade I miss writing when I don’t find time for it. Looking forward to this class (and my other one with @sonyaspillmann on writing big in a small space!) to help reignite my creative flame this fall and lead me back to myself again.
And just like that… they’re off! 💙 Pre-K a And just like that… they’re off! 💙 Pre-K and the 3’s class don’t know what they’re in for this year with these silly hooligans!
A handful of gratitude for the night before our fi A handful of gratitude for the night before our first day of school 🍎 ✨ Drinking my coffee hot while finding some rhythm in my morning pages today. I’m still really struggling to find my groove but staying hopeful. ✨ A quick power nap while Paul played with the boys and then he surprised me by making me lunch (right after I had ordered take out to be delivered for both of us haha oh well - leftovers! 🤪). ✨ Finally getting the backdoor knob fixed after several days of passing the puppy through the window to let her outside after the boys accidentally broke the door! 😳 ✨2 more days until we head to OBX for our final family beach trip of the summer - can not wait to get back to our happy place and to stick my toes in the sand again. ✨ Backpacks packed and ready for school tomorrow. Boys in bed and finally admitting they feel “more excited than nervous” about their first day tomorrow. Oh, and I hope I never forget Niko asking me to wrap him up “like a little croissant” 🥐 when I tucked him in tonight (usually I tell him I’m tucking him in like a little burrito but tonight he changed it up on me ❤️). Wish them luck tomorrow on their first day back in school since early March 2020! We’ve all been a little nervous but definitely feeling “more excited than nervous” this evening!! ❤️❤️
I’ve cleaned up 3 piles of poop today. Two in th I’ve cleaned up 3 piles of poop today. Two in the laundry room - the cat apparently decided the litter box is too dirty for his liking. Another from the bathroom, where the puppy took care of her business when no one heard her ringing the bell to go outside. I’ve been stuck in a weird emotional space the past month. Desperately craving rhythm and routines that I can’t seem to get a grasp on. Feeling inspired about new ideas for my blog/creative aspirations, but lacking momentum to carve out time to pour love and energy into them. We are in transition over here. Our nanny who helped us the past couple of years just retired this week and the boys will start preschool soon. Everyone is nervous/eager/uncertain abt what that will be like. Paul has been working crazy shifts as the covid crisis continues to surge. The weight of the world: refugees, virus variants, flooding, fires, and the fates of women… so many daily devastations keep hitting like wave after wave, making it impossible for us to catch our breaths in between things. The chaos of our home has me overwhelmed. Piles of laundry that I can’t seem to make a dent in, the deja vu of dishes, a trail of toys strewn across every surface. The fact that not a single human in this house (aside from myself) has particularly good aim when it comes to peeing. Mothering in a mentally and emotionally exhausted state is overwhelming. Trying to remain patient in the face of tantrums, even-tempered when the kids seem to have gone completely feral; carrying the bulk of parenting while Paul is at work saving lives; being present for these little people with my whole heart and soul without losing myself in the process. Our family is incredibly blessed and I am full of gratitude for this life we live. For years I resisted allowing myself to hold space for my own overwhelm because I thought acknowledging the hard parts, the vulnerable/messy/painful spaces of my life, meant I wasn’t grateful or I wasn’t trying hard enough. Now I know it’s just part of being human. I’m just here taking it all one day at a time. Showing up the best ways I know how. Finding the light wherever I can and giving grace where it’s needed.
I can’t believe it’s Monday again. How did tha I can’t believe it’s Monday again. How did that happen? We had a busy weekend and today I’ve been feeling productive by tackling a bunch of to dos that have been hanging over my head this past month. With everything happening in the world, some days it feels hard to find a sense of grounding, much less productivity. A close friend of mine (who knows I’m prone to overwhelm and have a “squirrel-brain” predisposition) suggested a week or so ago that I pick three tasks to prioritize each day to work my way through. Not a new concept but one I was due for being reminded of (and even more powerful with an added layer of accountability!!). There have been subtle changes happening around here as we shift towards autumn and the upcoming school year in the midst of this looming, emotionally-traumatic pandemic. The weight of the world has felt heavier these past couple of weeks. In Afghanistan, in Haiti, and across our own nation. We’ve been experiencing the impact of covid on a more personal level, with people in our immediate circles losing loved ones and others losing faith for humanity as their disillusionment grows. I’ve been trying to find small ways to help with what I can do for others facing a magnitude of heartbreaking things. I hope we can all find a moment of time this week to reach out and connect with someone who could use a reminder that they are loved, being thought of, understood, and/or SEEN. In these days of prolonged overwhelm, thinking abt the ability to make an impact on a smaller scale is such a powerful tool for me. Choosing to tackle 3 tasks. Reaching out to one person (or one group) to help in whatever capacity I can. Searching for small moments in my day to slow down and take a few deep breaths. Thinking of simple ordinary parts of my life can bring me an incredibly grounding sense of gratitude. And moving forward from there. Today that grounding came from starting the day, coffee in hand, spending time with my family. The boys scootering in their helmets and pjs. Paul racing them up the driveway. Waving to neighbors who pass us by en route to school drop offs. Loving my people hard and well. Because that’s always a good way to start. ✨
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